How To Know If You Have ADHD - Myths, Symptoms And Coping Tips For Your 20s (TB)

Do you struggle to stay focused on important projects or find yourself making impulsive decisions you later regret? This week, we’re revisiting an old but favourite episode, where we discuss exactly that. In a world where attention is treated like currency, staying on task can feel impossible, but struggling to focus every now and then doesn’t necessarily mean something is “wrong” with you.

As someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD very young, I have experienced both the common and niche symptoms, and discovered the most effective coping strategies for managing day to day life. Whether you’re curious if you might have ADHD, haven’t been diagnosed yet, or just want practical tips to improve your focus, this episode is for you. 

Enjoy!

Chapters

• 0:53 Welcome And Topic Overview
• 2:18 What ADHD Actually Is
• 3:12 Seven Big Misconceptions
• 7:52 Lesser-Known ADHD Symptoms
• 15:48 Non-Medication Management
• 23:16 Recap

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:36

Welcome back to another episode of the 20 Survival Guide. This is your host, Emily Astley, and today we're going to talk about ADHD. I have ADHD, and I've had ADHD since I was 11 years old. So that is like 12 years now. I was diagnosed really early. But the reason why we're going to talk about ADHD is because it's become so common recently. And not necessarily because everyone's over labeling, but because it's more easier to spot and people have really shed a light on it. What does that mean for you? It means that if you are the kind of person who thinks from time to time that it's something that you might have or that it's something that you're exploring and you have friends who have it but don't really understand it, this episode is all about that. What we're going to talk about is number one, what is ADHD, what it actually is. We're going to talk about the misconceptions about ADHD. We're also going to talk about the symptoms. So the symptoms to look out for if you think you might have ADHD. And then we're going to talk about how to manage ADHD without medication. Because I'm not a doctor. The many things that you can do in order to make your life easier, even if you just struggle with focusing, this also applies to you. But without further ado, let's get into the episode. So firstly, what is ADHD? ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition affecting your attention, impulse control, and executive function. ADHD comes in three types. Inattentive, this is known as ADD, so attention deficit disorder. Second type is the hyperactive impulsive type, which is ADHD. And the third type is combined. And many people mistake ADHD for just being hyperactive or easily distracted, but honestly, it's so much more than that. That's why it's got this label. And it also affects your emotional regulation, your organization, and just your motivation in general. But yeah, that is that is essentially what ADHD is, and it's not, as we just mentioned, someone who struggles to focus day in, day out. It's a lot more than that. So let's get into the misconceptions of ADHD, and there are so many. Number one, ADHD is just about being hyper and restless. This is coming from an ADHD herself, okay? So, yes, some people with ADHD are super hyperactive. I am definitely one of them, but a lot are just quiet and distracted, and it could be someone who is zoning out, being forgetful, or struggling to organise their own thoughts. This is really common and they're not always bouncing off the walls. These are more the ADD types who get diagnosed really late in life because it's not so visible that they have this condition. The second point is if you can focus on things you care about, then it's not ADHD. Um, no, that's not the reality. So ADHD isn't about being lazy. It doesn't mean that you're not trying hard enough. It's genuinely all about inconsistent focus. So you might have trouble focusing on tasks or classes at school, but you have no problem focusing on a specific hobby or a show that you're watching, and that's that's just something that you have genuine interest in, you can really hyperfixate on, and that's because when you have ADHD, you will focus on what you really care about, and you can do that for a long period of time. But if you don't actually have much of an interest, you literally can't, you you just can't focus, and it's really hard because there's just extremes on this sense, there's no balance. Here is the most common one number three, everyone has a little bit of ADHD, people just use it as an excuse. So, no, we all get distracted every now and then. I mean, obviously, that's so normal. We're human beings and not everything is interesting, and especially when we're in a world where there's just everything's always trying to distract us. It's so hard and it's so easy to think that we have it. But it is a genuine, legitimate condition that goes far beyond just forgetfulness or lack of focus. It really affects and messes with your brain's ability to prioritize tasks, manage your time, and above all, regulate your own emotions. Number four of our misconceptions, ADHD is just a child thing. It's just a childhood thing. And if you didn't have it as a kid, you don't have it now. This is not true. A lot of people in their 20s don't get diagnosed until later in life, especially as I said before, if they weren't the hyperactive type. It's something that can be overlooked, and sometimes symptoms just don't fully show until adulthood. That's because not everything demands organization and focus until you get older. And it's not something that you just grow out of when you grow up. Like it really isn't, and that is definitely something that I used to be told that when I get older, I'll grow out of it. And it's not because if it really is something that's linked to your neurological function, which it is, then you can't just grow out of that. You can learn how to deal with it, but you can't grow out of it. So that's a really frustrating misconception. Number five, people who with ADHD are just lazy or unmotivated. I mean, that's just not true. Like, absolutely not. It doesn't mean that people with ADHD don't want to do things, it just means that their brain has trouble managing tasks, has probab trouble finishing thoughts and their processes, starting them, following through, staying on track. You often feel exhausted trying to do things they know that they should do. So it doesn't mean that you're unmotivated, it just means that your brain is constantly sort of um sabotaging you in a way. And I know that sounds strong to say, but it really is. Another misconception, we're getting to the end here, guys. ADHD is overdiagnosed these days. So, yes, whilst you might see a rise and an increase in the amount of diagnoses on ADHD, it's probably because more people being aware of it, people finally being able to recognize what ADHD looks like in people and how to get help. And it's definitely underdiagnosed, actually, whether you whether you believe it or not, it is underdiagnosed, especially in adults and especially in women, because it's harder to see in women who has ADHD because they just tend to be less hyperactive, apart from me. And number seven, medication fixes everything, it really doesn't. So you need to be able to find tools and and manage your ADHD in ways that help your self-awareness, your mood regulations, uh therapy, potentially, time management tools. There's so much more involved in it than just sticking yourself on some Ritalin or some medication, and it's just it really doesn't solve everything. So now we're gonna move on to the symptoms of ADHD and what to do if you see that in your friends, see it in yourself. And there are many, but I'm just pulling out the main ones. These symptoms are quite niche, so they're not the regular ones, these are niche ones which you might not know about or haven't heard of yet. So number one is time blindness. So you might lose track of time, struggle to estimate how long tasks will take, and this means you're constantly late and there's just never enough time in your day. So again, not everyone who has ADHD has these symptoms. They really vary from person to person, and you can really master them and control them and be better at it, but that tends to be a common sign. Number two is procrastination and avoidance. So you'll avoid tasks, whether they're important or not, because they feel overwhelming. And you might end up starting to do everything last minute, but not because you're lazy, but your brain just struggles to prioritize things. This is another thing which you really have to work on, and that's all linked to your organization. Organization is hard when you have ADHD because if I could paint a picture to you, your brain is genuinely scrambled, and there is just so many red flashing lights going on, hundreds and thousands of different thoughts, and the issue is that none of the thoughts actually get through the thought process without getting interrupted. So it's just constant dissatisfaction and stress in your brain. So, how are you going to prioritize when that's what's going through your head? It's very difficult. Number three, chronic messiness or disorganization. And again, this doesn't apply to all ADHDs, but you tend to really struggle to organize your space, your desk is cluttered. This is something that happens to me all the time where you you forget where you place your phone. I cannot describe enough how many times I lose my phone, and it just is crazy. Like I will lose my phone, and then 10 minutes later, I will lose it again. If you're like that, you will know it is so annoying. Number four, difficulty following through on plans or projects. So it's easy to start a project, but it's really difficult to finish one because it's the same thing as a thought. Your thought goes through the wires in your brain that it needs to get to the finish, the end point, but it just doesn't because the wires are broken. That's how I like to describe a person who has ADHD, their brain. And this is the same with projects. Number five, interrupting conversations. This is something that most ADHDers struggle with, and I really can vouch for that one. So you might really find it hard to wait your turn in conversations, which is so annoying for everyone else, and you tend to blurt things out impulsively as a result. But it's it's not that you're being rude, it really isn't. This is a really big misconception. You are not being rude, it's genuinely that your brain is just constantly jumping ahead in the conversation and you're you're just trying to process everything at once. So it's just a sudden urge that you have to get your words out. You're like almost vomiting out your words because you can't control that, which is really, really frustrating for those around you and also the person who has ADHD because you don't want to be rude. You're not trying to be that person, but you just can't help it because it's very difficult. This is also something I've kind of previously mentioned. The next one, number six, is constant mental chatter. So your mind feels like it's constantly running with a billion thoughts all at once, and this then makes it really hard to focus on absolutely anything else or listen to others, even when you want to, because there's tons of things going on in your head, and it's really exhausting. This is just a thought and analogy I've had, but imagine running on the treadmill like all day. You might be in a really fast speed, and you're also gonna be really tired by the end, and that is literally your thoughts. That's your brain, that's your brain process when you have ADHD. Everything's going at a million miles per hour, but it just makes you exhausted. Another one is having a hyper focus on specific tasks. So this could be a specific project, reading a book or watching a TV show, but then you'll completely lose track of time. So whilst people say with ADHD, oh yes, this is a superpower, if it's if you find what you're really interested in and you do that full time, then this is such a superpower because you're gonna be great at it. But it's also not necessarily just a superpower because it causes you to neglect other important responsibilities and really struggle to compartmentalize within your day that you can't just do something all day, like you have to compartmentalize and move on to the next thing. Emotional sensitivity. This is number eight. So emotional regulation is really difficult, it's just difficult for lots of people, but those who have ADHD, it's like honestly putting, I don't know, um, deodorant to a flame. It's the worst thing ever. And I think I can speak on behalf of most ADHDs at this point, and that's because as I mentioned before, those who have ADHD are very impulsive. People with ADHD often make decisions quickly and they don't really think them through, and they think about the consequences of them afterwards, and this really links to spending. So if you're spending and you're making money and you're spending money, you really struggle to manage your finances and to save. That's really difficult because it's again all comes back to this um impulsivity factor. That's really what breaks apart the difference between people who think that they struggle with concentrating but don't have ADHD and people who have ADHD. Because if you just struggle with concentrating, you don't have this impulse urge that constantly overtakes and hijacks your brain. And I'm speaking from experience, guys, I promise you. Another one is restlessness and fidgeting. This is something that I really struggled with growing up, and I still struggle with now. And even when you're sitting still, you're always, you know, tapping your foot, like shaking your leg, fidgeting with pens, fidgeting with objects around you. And it's not necessarily nervous energy, which that is definitely what it comes across as. Sometimes it is, but a lot of the time it's just that you have to be doing something with your hands. You have to be doing something, and it really annoys the people around you. And there's so many times when my mum has been like, stop doing that, Emily, like stop fidgeting with that. And it's not, it's just it's really difficult. The reason why people do that is because it's your brain looking for ways to release excess energy or just stay alert because you're constantly trying to do that. That is restlessness and fidgeting, and it is so common. And the last one that I've got on here today, guys, is ADHD means you can have really inconsistent sleeping patterns. And this again really matches with me because I've had sleep insomnia for so long now, and I've really had bad, bad periods of sleep. And that's not just oh, I've had like a really rough time and I didn't sleep one night. No, this is like constant days that just build up of like barely getting any sleep because it really can mess with your circadian rhythm, and that is a fact. ADHD can do that, and that's why it's so hard to get sleep because you might end up be being someone who stays up late because you can't switch your brain off, or you have trouble waking up in the morning because you're not getting enough restful sleep, and then it's just constantly exhausting, and it's just a whole thing. Oh, last one, really important, another factor and another symptom is sensory overload. This is something you might not have heard of yet, but people with ADHD can really be hypersensitive to specific stimuli. So that means like the pads of your hands, like touching things, like you you can tend to just really feel that more than other people. And so things like loud noises, bright lights, or certain textures, this can make it really difficult to focus or feel comfortable in an environment. But again, that's not for everyone who has ADHD, and it really just depends. So now we're moving on to how can you manage ADHD if you don't want to go on medication or if you think you might have it, but you really don't want to spend the money or the time to get diagnosed. And again, I'm not a doctor, guys. I'm just someone who's speaking from a lot of experience, which I think is still pretty damn useful, I must say. Okay, I've got six top tips. So listen carefully because I think these are pretty useful. So, number one is through creating structure and routines. This is literally me to a T. Someone who has ADHD, in order to just take control of their life, everything has to be planned. That's that that's just me. Like everything has to be planned so that I can constantly make sure that whatever's going on in my brain is written down so I don't have to worry about potentially forgetting that. My brain thrives on structure, and so do people who have ADHD. So setting up schedules for daily activities, like it even means just work, meals, exercise, having the same routine, or using a planner. Honestly, if you don't have a planner and you have ADHD, like I'm praying for you because I don't know how you get through things. I honestly am a little crazy and I do plan my days to the half hour, which I know is crazy. Not all the time, not on weekends, but doing that just really does help me and it just gives me a rough structure of what my day is gonna look like. So, in order to do this, I just say break tasks into smaller steps and really create a checklist because being able to tick off things I know is just so satisfying. Just the action of doing that means that you're feeling accomplished, you're getting things done. Number two, using external reminders and tools. People who have ADHD often are really forgetful, they can really miss tasks or deadlines, especially if you're not on medication, and having lots of reminders for different things, even if it's as simple as like send an email to this person by this time. It can be so simple, but doing that really can take the stress off of you and help you so much. So, this could be setting reminders on your phone, this could be sticky notes, alarms, productivity apps, anything that really helps you. Just do what works for you. One of my pro tips for this is use time-focused work sessions. So split, as I said, your work or your day into half an hour, and compartmentalizing makes that so much easier. Also, just downloading apps that really block socials on your phone are really helpful, even if it's just an hour and a day and it's like that specific hour that's always blocked at the same time. So you know that whatever you're doing at that hour is always going to be productive, and I just think that means that it's easy and manageable, and it just helps a lot because it's definitely something that I do. Okay, here's another thing: break tasks into small chunks and manageable chunks. So large tasks feel super overwhelming for just anyone, but also especially if you have ADHD. So that can then lead to procrastination, and we don't want that because we all know what happens after that. Stuff doesn't get done, you feel stressed, and it's just an anxious cycle on repeat. So breaking your tasks into small bite-sized bits where you know that this is what you've got to get done, and then the next thing, and then the next thing, it means you know you're not just looking at the top of Mount Everest, you're looking at the small peaks to climb up to the top, which makes life so much more manageable. Again, if you're struggling to do that, maybe set timers for each chunk, keeping your brain focused, and that timer is almost like a motivation to just keep going and making sure that you reach your work that you needed to get done by that timer. And it might sound a lot, but it really helps if you're struggling. So, another one is prioritizing and eliminating distractions, which we've really just covered. But again, in order to stay focused for a long period of time, which you already struggle with doing when you have ADHD, having distractions like notifications on your phone and people popping in. Imagine if you already struggle with focusing, having a distraction just throws you off track like you've never seen before. So we need to eliminate that as much as possible. And in order to do that, limiting and blocking your socials on your phone, and also just you know, working in a clean and quiet environment, I feel really helps me. It's up to you. Maybe you're someone who actually likes to work with music on in the background because it means that your brain's stimulated whilst you're also focusing on what you need to do. That's another common thing that I've heard a lot of people do. Personally, that genuinely does not work for me, and I cannot do that at all. It would be nice because I love listening to music, but that's just not gonna happen for me. Number five, and this is so important for absolutely everyone, but for those who have ADHD, it's a common scientifically proved thing that staying active and exercising regularly really helps your mental focus. So we already know that exercise, which I've spoken about in an episode before, really improves your mood. Your focus, your dopamine levels, and everything in general, but it really helps if you have ADHD. If you struggle with exercise, just aiming for at least 30 minutes a day is like absolutely necessary. And I know that it's really hard to do that when you're really busy and you've got a big job, but that could just even be walking, like just making sure that you move your body, getting some exercise, yoga, running, gym, an activity. Doing that is so important. And a short tip if you're thinking, how am I gonna do this is by taking short bursts of activity. So let's say you're working from home or you're in the office, and with breaks, I would schedule an activity. So that's just walking around the block or doing some jumping jacks if you're at home, or just doing something so that you're not constantly restless and you keep your brain activated and you've got movement going on, so it makes it easier. It really, really does. Number six, and this is the last one, getting organized with visual cues. So, what I mean by this is when you have ADHD, it's really hard to remember to stay on track and stay on top of things. So visual reminders are key because then you are looking at that and it will not get away from you. So, how to do this? So many people have different ways, and honestly, it really just depends on the person, what works for you. But lots of people use colour-coded systems. I really like doing that. Whiteboards, large calendars. I've got about seven different whiteboards in my room and five billion different calendars on my phone and my laptop. It's a bit much. I should probably think about reducing those. But this just really helps with organizing appointments, deadlines, any plans that you've got coming up, even if it's as simple as who you're going out with for dinner that night. I definitely even put that in my planner because it just helps me know and I can see it and it makes my life easier. And that's just that might sound ridiculous, that might not work for you. But again, coming back to someone who has an ADHD brain, structure is just so important, and that's the only thing that I can use in order to like thrive at work and thrive in my personal life. So, a pro tip for this is setting up your environment in a way that allows you to organize your tasks frequently. So, if that means post it notes in a specific area and you always write things down that you think you might gonna forget, put them near you, make sure that there is a space for that for you to visibly see things. So, those are all my tips for what to do if you want to improve your ADHD without medication, and there are so many more, and we could go on for hours in this episode, honestly, because I have so much experience in this field just because I've been dealing and managing my ADHD for over 10 years, which I've mentioned, and I just have learned so much through the process, and how to really manage it is very difficult. But I'm honestly here. If anyone has any more questions, drop them in the show notes or send me a DM, and I'm so here to help. Um, if you want to hear more on ADHD, then just let me know. But I hope you enjoyed this episode. In a summary, ADHD is an actual mental neurological condition, it is not something that is stigmatized and that people over-diagnose, and it just doesn't mean that you only can't focus on things from time to time. It is so much more involved with that, like your emotional regulation, your lack of ability to control your own impulse, and it just really affects so much of your life. So if you have ADHD or you have a friend who does, just make sure that you take this time from this episode to really just sympathize with them and understand that if they're interrupting your conversations, they mean well, they just really struggle. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and I shall see you guys next Wednesday. Bye.